Category Archives: Life

Realtionships & Social Media

I haven’t done one of these kind of posts in so long, so I thought it was time for a bit of a rant.

I read an article on online the other day, about how couples who post lovey dovey posts all over social media, actually tend to be more insecure in their relationships and how the couple in question probably don’t actually like each other that much. You can read the article here

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I actually had a conversation about this with Dan the other day. We don’t really tend to post much stuff about “us” on social media, apart from the odd Instagram post every now and again.  We never really made the choice not to broadcast our relationship all over social media, we just don’t really feel we need to. Plus I’m pretty sure nobody actually cares what we are up to, or how much I love him, or our “couple milestones”.

Over sharing on social media is normal these days, but everybody filters it. They want to come across like they’re living their “best life” so its easy to look at people and think that they’re doing so much better than you, or that their relationship looks so much happier than yours etc. When the reality is, it’s probably not, that’s just what they want to portray to the world. I think it’s really sad that as a society we’ve got to that stage where things don’t mean anything unless they get loads of likes on social media.

So, those couples who are constantly posting loved up statuses and pictures, going on about how much they love their partner, how lucky they are, all the stuff they’re doing. The article says they probably feel super insecure about their relationship, and that’s why they feel the need to make it so visible and justify it to the world. And don’t even get me started on the hashtags (#soblessed #couplegoals #myman – my man? possessive much?) What I find even sadder though, is seeing people posting all of this, and knowing that actually behind closed doors their partner doesn’t treat them with much respect. Or when you see that stuff on social media and it’s so painfully one-sided, I always find that such a shame when one persons declaring their undying love, and the other is silent.

The psychology behind this is really interesting, and it makes a lot of sense. If you were really that in love with your partner, why wouldn’t you just tell them? Why do you need to put it on Facebook and tell the world? Why not just live in the moment?  What do you need to prove to everyone really?

I totally agree with the article, because I’ve been there myself. Early 20’s, unhappy relationship, having a totally shit time, so what did I do? I posted Facebook updates about how great things were, how in love “we” were,  all the cool things we did together. Basically tried to make out things were perfect, and also subtly warn other girls off.  I never used the hashtag my man though, this was before hashtags were cool. It was kind of sad on my part though, and looking back it must have been so transparent to everybody around me. Actually cringing at my past self right now.

I think social media also puts a lot of pressure on relationships. It seems to be an endless stream of who’s bought who an expensive gift or who’s made the most romantic gesture on Instagram. If you’re already not feeling good about your relationship, I guess this would probably make you feel like your relationship isn’t up to scratch, or make you question why your partner doesn’t do those things for you.  The images that social media portrays as “essential” in a relationship, can make you forget what actually is important.

One of the most romantic things Dan has ever done for me, doesn’t involved a declaration of love via Facebook (I’d actually kill him if he ever did that and die of shame), or buying me a Pandora bracelet/ expensive watch/ roses/ whatever is the “in” thing these days (delete as appropriate). This weekend we found my nana’s bike in the shed, and he fixed it for me so I could use it. It might not sound a big deal really, but I was really close to my nana. She always used to ride this bike, and it’s what I associate with her whenever I think of her. It’s been locked away in the shed for 10 years forgotten about, so the fact that he took the time to fix it, so I could use it and have something of hers, really meant a lot to me. It actually made me a bit emotional believe it or not.

It’s those little things we should be appreciating, not just the things we can “Instagram” or share on Facebook. Because really what are we trying to prove to everyone? Why do we need everybody on our friends list to see this?

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I’m curious to hear people opinions on this. Obviously I’m just going off of my experiences, but I think if you’re really happy wouldn’t you just be living in the moment? Or is it just our culture now to document everything? Am I being too harsh? Or do you guys agree? Do check the article out though if you have a minute it’s really interesting! Also I had the best time finding memes for this blog post.

 

Go Ape Adventure

A bit of a random one for you today.

On Saturday, Dan and I went to Go Ape in Sherwood Pines. I bought him a gift voucher for his birthday back in January for two people to go on the Go Ape Treetop Adventure. I thought he’d pick one of his more adventurous friends, rather then me (which I was secretly glad about). So you can imagine my reaction when he said “when shall we book to go?” I asked quite a few times leading up to it if he was sure he wanted to take me with him, and much to my dismay he kept saying yes. I found out later this was because he thought I’d be rubbish so he wouldn’t look bad if he was rubbish too.

So 1st of April rolled around and off we went to Go Ape. I’m not going to lie, I was scared. It’s not the heights that bother me, more the falling off and embarrassing myself. Plus I’m not really the most active of people either.  When we go there we were given a safety briefing, asked to sign a contract agreeing to the terms, fitted for harnesses and shown how to use the equipment on the ground.

Then we went to a mini version of the course, which was about 2 feet off the ground to have  a practise. Then we were let loose. The first obstacle was terrifying, you had to climb up a really swingy rope ladder, shimmy across a wire, swing Tarzan style into a net, climb the net then zip wire to the ground. My legs felt like jelly, and the only thing that made me climb that rope ladder and shimmy the wire was pride and stubbornness. But I must admit, after the first obstacle it all seems a lot easier, once you trust the equipment and as long as you clip everything on properly, you’re all good. Surprisingly I actually really enjoyed it, towards the end we felt proper rambo! So here’s a few pictures from our adventure. The videos won’t load properly on here, so if you want to see Dan sliding on his arse, head over to my Instagram!

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Overall, Go Ape surprised me. I thought it would be really scary and you’d have all these people looking at you making a tit of yourself. But actually it’s really fun, because you go around on your own, there’s no pressure. I think we’ve caught the bug now and will be going to another!

If you’re planning a Go Ape trip, I’d advise you take some gloves with you as your hands get cold touching the wires and supports. Also make sure you take some change for parking, wrap up warm and don’t be too frightened to give it all a go.

Let me know if you’ve been to Go Ape and how you found it.

 

 

10 Things I’ve Learnt Since Moving In With My Boyfriend

They say you never really know a person until you live with them.

I’ve been living with Dan for three months now and before we moved in I would have said that’s ridiculous. We’ve been together over two years now, and we both know exactly what we’re getting into. Turns out I was wrong and you actually don’t know what its like living with someone until you actually do it. This isn’t the first time I’ve lived with a boyfriend. I lived with an ex at uni, but that was a totally different situation. We were uni students and in a house share so we had different rooms and lived with other people. (Side note,: I really would not recommend living in a house share with a partner. It doesn’t work for anyone involved). So really this was a totally new experience for both of us.

  1. I’m not as tidy as I think I am: I like things to be clean and hygienic, but apparently I’m messy because I leave things around. My thinking is, well I’ll leave my paints/ make up/ whatever I’m using at the time out because I’ll be using the again shortly. Nope. If I leave it out he moves it then I can’t find it. It’s like a passive aggressive treasure hunt all the time. So I’ve now learnt my lesson, if I want to find my things again I have to put them away, because they get moved to a new home, which ends up a mystery because Dan can never remember where he put them (I’m sure he’s on some kind of auto mode when he does this). I’ve tried to pass it off as “creative people are always more messy” but he’s not buying it.
  2. Choosing décor is a pain!: Something else I thought would be easy. Turns out that boys can be pretty fussy when it comes to décor, who knew? I’ve learnt now the easiest way is to just order things as a “surprise”. Because nobody can turn down a surprise wardrobe that they said they didn’t like right? (FYI turns out he actually does like it in person)
  3. Every household cost isn’t split down the middle: I always thought that moving in with someone meant you’d split everything, which isn’t really the case. It’s more like, cool you bought a wardrobe, well I’ll pay the TV license then or since you’ve done the big shop I’ll buy drinks when we go to the pub. Turns out I actually prefer it that way, it would get tiring constantly owing each other money.
  4. I’m more domesticated the I thought I was: We’ve both kind of naturally fallen into certain housework roles. I get home from work first so I’ll do a shop, make tea, do any pots that need to be done, put a wash on etc. Then he does other stuff round the house when he gets home. Turns out I’m actually wife material and I didn’t even know.
  5. There’s no pressure: Before when we used to see each other for a few days at a time, it kind of felt like we always had to be out and about doing stuff as we didn’t see each other much. Now because we see each other everyday, it’s like that pressures being taken off a little and everything’s more chilled.
  6. We bicker more: Possibly breaking the social media rule here by admitting that my relationship isn’t perfect, but it’s true. Now we live together we bicker more. Not massive arguments, generally just snippy comments every now and again about how my make ups being left out or how he hasn’t locked the door (I’m a big believe in locking doors when you’re in the house). But the best part about living together is your literally over those disagreements within five minutes because you don’t have time to sit around stewing or you can ignore messages.
  7. Our WhatsApp conversation has deteriorated: We never send messages anymore other then “Do we have milk” or “I’ll be home a bit later tonight”. That is literally it, and it makes me feel super old.
  8. There are no boundaries anymore: Literally non at all, and weirdly I quite like that.
  9. It’s nice to have somebody there for you all the time: A few weeks ago I had the shittiest day. Stuff had happened, I was sad, anxious and generally fed up with life. Dan came home, I cried on his shoulder for a bit, talked about it and then he poured me wine, and I felt better. It’s nice to have somebody there to give you a hug when you’re feeling crap and look after you. It’s the little things like that which are most important to me in a relationship.
  10. We can be together, but separate: We can sit in a room together and he’ll be working and I’ll be reading. There’s no awkward silences, just this kind of comfortable companionship (major cringe saying that but it’s true!) He can watch whatever naff programme he wants on TV and I can come upstairs and do some work. He goes out with his friends and I get to chill by myself for the evening. We don’t have to be in each others pockets all the time.

I could list so much more then 10, but we’d be here all night! Not going to lie, moving in together has been stressful at times, and its been a real eye opener, but it’s the best thing we ever did. I find some of his little “quirks” annoying (PLEASE STOP MOVING MY STUFF) and he finds me irritating at times. Despite all this thought, having him around all the time, is actually quite nice.

Let me know if any of you have moved in, or are thinking of moving in with a partner and what your thoughts are.

 

 

Tips & Ideas For Starting A Blog

Welcome back to my blog!

Today I’m posting a few tips and ideas for those of you who are thinking about starting up a blog. This is inspired by a chat I had with my friend Kelly who was thinking of starting up her own blog and asked for some advice. I’m by no means an expert in blogging, I just like to post little rambles, reviews etc and people are free to read them and give me feedback if they want to. I’ve actually done a post similar to this which was called “Top Ten Tips For New Bloggers” if you want to check that out too 🙂

So here are a few starting points, tips, and ideas for those of you who want to start a blog of your own.

  • Choose a platform : There’s loads of blogging platforms out there, but the two most popular seem to be WordPress and BlogSpot/Blogger. I’ve used both of these and my personal preference is WordPress. I think the layout looks sleeker, you get a lot more choice in layouts/ themes and I find it easier to use. My first ever blog was actually on blogger and I absolutely cringe looking at it now (It’s still online!)  It’s worth checking out both though to see what you prefer, and if you don’t like either of them, you can view a list of the “12 Best Free Blogging Platforms” here
  • Choose a name : Perhaps the most difficult part of starting a blog. I’ve gone through so many names and so many blogs, the first one I ever made was called “The Life & Times Of A Fashion Student” then it turned into “Polka Dot Teapot” then I started loads of random new blogs, before eventually turning back to Polka Dot Teapot. I know I probably sound daft, but that’s the name that always felt right to me, even though it probably doesn’t make much sense to anyone else.  Before choosing a name for your blog, write a few notes, what you want your blog to be about, topics you are interested in, your hobbies etc. You may find some inspiration there. Or you could use a blog name generator if you’re really struggling, something perfect might pop up! The one I like the most is Spinxo
  • Choosing a blog theme/ topic : What is your blog going to be about? What genre does it fit under? What are your hobbies and interests? These questions are a good starting point, but as you write and your blog evolves and grows you may start to venture into other topics. Don’t put pressure on yourself to stick to one genre! My blog was originally meant to be about beauty and fashion, now I post my business makes, craft projects, recipes, and general chit chatty life stuff.
  • What is the purpose of your blog? Is it a place to share ideas, make new friends, connect with people with similar interests to you? Or is it something you eventually want to make money out of. If it is something you’d like to make money out of then you’ll need to think carefully about the name, content, marketing, and basically create a “brand”.  Also you’ll need to start thinking about how you’re going to promote your blog, which social media platforms you want to use etc. If this is the way you want to go with your blog, remember these things take time and hard work! It won’t happen overnight
  • Inspiration & planning: One of the things I get asked a lot is “how do you think of things to write?” The honest answer is stuff just pops into my head! When I’m having writers block, I look at other blogs, Pinterest, YouTube and Google for inspiration. I actually have a whole board dedicated to blogging over on my Pinterest (click the Pinterest button to have a look!). I also find planning posts, and jotting ideas down helps a lot. Get yourself a little notebook and write down anything and everything that comes into your head, or check out my post on my Top 3 Blog Planners for printable planners.
  • Take a little bit of time on your photographs: Good photo’s make a blog so much nicer to look at. You don’t have to go all out and fancy, just use a nice simple background and decent lighting. I didn’t really bother with this for a long time and looking back it makes me cringe so hard!
  • Be Yourself: Don’t try to hard to be what you think a proper blogger should be (I hope that makes sense) Be honest with your thoughts and opinions, turn your “fails” into funny content. One of my friends Siobhan has a YouTube channel and I love watching her because she’s just so honest and funny. Being “real” will appeal to your readers much more then trying to be a copy of Zoella, or another well known beauty/ blogger guru.
  • You never know who’s watching: Have a think about what you’re comfortable putting out there, as you never know who is reading your blog. I’ve published a few posts on relationships and my previous relationship (which in all honesty weren’t very flattering), thought nothing of it until his current girlfriend popped up on my blog and left comments. I’m not really arsed about them seeing that, as it was a true experience and I was willing to share that online, but it did surprise me that the girl was taking the time to check out my blog, as it was someone I never expected to see it and I wasn’t putting it all over social media. So before you post, just think would I want my parents, colleagues, etc to see this? Especially if you want to build your blog into a brand, because even if you’re not putting your blog all over social media, people might still find it.
  • And Finally…. Take the plunge! Starting a blog can be intimidating and confusing and stressful, but its so much fun! I’ve met some amazing people and one of my best friends (hey Abbie!) through blogging, its a great hobby to have and I find it very therapeutic. Don’t beat yourself up if you don’t get it right the first time, and don’t pressure yourself into unrealistic goals (for example: posting everyday). It’ll all develop the more you get into it, so just enjoy it.

I hope you guys enjoyed this post, and I hope it was helpful to anybody thinking about starting a blog. If you have recently started a blog, leave me a comment and I’ll check it out.

I Should Quit Blogging

I’m just so shit at it!

But I’m not really quitting blogging anyway (since I know you all couldn’t live without my blog post’s 😉 even if the are so rare!) I’ve just had a little bit of a situation. By situation I basically mean I have no wifi in my new house yet, because the post office seem to be the biggest pile of poo ever. But my lovely neighbours have let me use theres until mine gets sorted.

Funny story actually, I went for two weeks without actually meeting my neighbours, then one night while I was on my todd playing xbox, I heard some noises outside. So being as nosey as I am I went outside to investigate (in my dressing gown, pj’s and slippers) and interrupted a group of teenagers breaking into their shed. I know its a bit mental to just run outside and shout at burglars, but in all honesty they weren’t the brightest bunch of criminals I’d ever met.  They ran off, I knocked on my neighbours door, police turned up etc. To cut a long story short it turns out I have two very lovely neighbours and wifi access! (After writing this little rant turns out wifi will be live on the 21st of this month!, only took since the beginning of January!)

I’ve also started up my little illustration business again which has been keeping me busy! If anybody wants to check that out, I have a Facebook page www.facebook.com/polkadotteapotdesigns

In terms of the house it’s turning into a lovely little home. We have few more bits to buy and things to do, but its so nice to have a space that’s totally our own 🙂 . I think the thing I’m most excited about is having a work room, (no more working in my bedroom and getting paint all over my bed!). I have a few posts planned with DIY’s, room décor etc so keep an eye out for those.

Anyway thanks to those of you who keep popping back regularly, I keep seeing a few familiar IP addresses, it’s nice to know you’re enjoying my posts. (What little of them I’ve been doing!) Let me know how you all are in the comments 🙂

 

A Reflection On 2016 & Goals For 2017

Happy New Year!!

This year has gone so quickly! It literally seems like 2 minutes ago I was writing this same post for 2016.

It’s been a mixed year in terms of my personal life to be honest. There’s been lots of highs and lows. I’ve switched jobs twice and now I’m in a job I love, moved to Leeds, then got a new house in Doncaster (more on that here), passed my driving test and bought a car. I’ve struggled with anxiety,  stress and exhaustion (mainly due to the job I had, driving in Leeds for 15 hours a day is not fun!) and then the progression of my granddad’s illness (He suffers from Alzheimer’s : I explain more about that in this post).  The one thing that’s got me through these shitty times is Dan. I don’t want to be that person who feels the need to plaster their love for their partner all over the internet, but I really want to acknowledge just how supportive he’s been through all of this. I’m so thankful for this, and I’m very lucky to have him in my life. 2016 has been a good year for making new friends too, I’m going to do a blog post on that soon (meeting friends in the strangest circumstances).

It’s been a mixed year in terms of my blog too. I’ve had burst of posting and then had periods where I don’t post much. (You can check out reasons why I’m a shit blogger here) I’ve become a lot more open on my blog this year, and started talking about more personal topics and things in my life that I struggle with. This was such an intimidating thing to do, especially knowing how cruel people can be on the internet and being aware of who is following my blog, but I’m so glad I did it. I had such a lot of support from people and a lot of people tell me that the posts have helped them which far outweighs any negativity.  I’ve also really enjoyed my Book Review Sunday series, and I’m going to carry this on, I’ve even started a little book diary so I can keep track of all the books I’m reading.

So these were my goals this time last year:

  • Blogging – Plan more, better pictures and more videos. Do a “make it with me series” and a “recipe of the week series”. Keep on top of a blogging schedule: This one kind of worked out, I did plan more and take better pictures. I stopped filming when I moved as I didn’t have the time with my new job and had nowhere suitable to film. The make it with me series and the recipe series did fall through due to not having a lot of time.
  • Pass my driving test: This one I achieved! Learning to drive, and actually driving was one of the most stressful things I’ve ever done, but it’s being able to drive and having a car has been brilliant and given me a lot more opportunities.
  • Loose a little bit of weight and exercise more (standard!): Again kind of half and half with this one. I’m like a turkey, I fatten up for Christmas!
  • Try some more beauty brands: I have most certainly achieved this one!
  • Keep on top of my skincare routine and don’t get lazy : Other then a few occasions I have pretty much stuck to this one
  • Complete my teaching assistant course: I haven’t completed my course, with everything going on it kind of took a back seat. But I do have a job in education so I have achieved this in a way
  • Move house: I moved house (into a house share which was not the original goal, but I’m counting it!) and now I’m moving into my own house with Dan in the next few weeks.

2017 Goals

  • Make my new house into a home.
  • Eat healthier, exercise more. (This is a standard year to year one!)
  • Do more creative projects
  • Start up my little business again. (More on that in another post!)

Blog Goals:

  • Be more consistent with posting. (GoDaddy have just charged me £75 to renew my domain name and website so that’s a good motivation!)
  • Start making videos again.
  • Keep up book review Sunday posts
  • Post more craft/ DIY projects
  • Post more food related posts
  • Preschedule posts

Obviously this list of goals is on-going and will probably be added to as the year progresses and life changes. I hope all you guys enjoyed this post, and thank you so much for sticking with me this year. I had a look at my stats today and I couldn’t believe just how many of you have visited over the last year! Let me know how 2016 was for you in the comments and any goals and dreams you have for 2017. Happy New Year!!!